Thank you to those who have written to “dear efap” for input on your dilemmas. As you are aware, we read every inquiry that comes in but we are only able to print a small selection of responses. Our “pithy” answers are modeled after the lighter hearted Dear Abby style and are grounded in common sense. If your issues require a more personalized level of support please call EFAP (1-800-505-4929) and we can confidentially book you a counselling appointment with a senior level therapist.

Send us your questions

We welcome all inquiries – please submit these to dear.efap@efap.ca. All printed responses use the anonymous descriptor that you sign your inquiry with and do not reveal any identifying information. Our goal is to support you through insight and common sense.

Below is our response to the next selection – enjoy!

 
It’s tax time – yikes! I’ve put off doing taxes for nearly 3 years now – I am a bit of a procrastinator and it always seems like there is something more important to do than pay the ‘Gov.,’ ya know? I’d rather head out to the shops, or restaurants, or exercise in some cool outfit doing some cool activity, or sip an “ini” type drink at a local hot spot. I know – not very wise, but frankly a ton of fun in the moment. But then the credit card bill shows up, so I avoid paying my taxes because I worry that I’ll owe them money. This causes me to run to the mall for a little retail therapy which, in the end, only makes me feel worse. I am so embarrassed and I have no clue how to get out of this mess, so I thought I would write to you. Help me – please!
– Tax Evading Tess

Dear Tax Evading Tess,
Procrastinating a little? Ya think? The longer you put this off, the more the problem grows. Good for you for reaching out now – it’s time to account for these sins, literally. And honey, trying to outrun the CRA, even if it is in high end designer exercise wear, won’t work. They know where you live… so it’s time to surrender.

It sounds like we have 2 issues here: taxes and debt, and one feeds right into the other. I might recommend that you call us and check out the financial (not for profit) arm of EFAP. These advisors will be able to help you sort this out. You may owe some cash after 3 years without paying, but our financial folks can help you wade through it all to calmer waters. Not to worry, you just need to carpe diem and call. They can also help you understand your current debt and create a practical plan to get you out of it. I will warn you though – it’ll mean skipping the “ini” drinks and banning yourself from the mall for a while. The good news is that there is a route out. I know that living within your means may be a novel concept, and perhaps one that’s a tad boring, but it’s one worth strongly considering.

In today’s world we are consumed by debt because we have become dependent on instant gratification. There’s a kind of entitlement that seems to seep into our psyches and our society that convinces us that when we feel that we deserve something, then we should be able to have it immediately – even when we cannot afford it. I love those ads that are all around town right now – one that I read today said “Don’t borrow from tomorrow” – well said! Borrowing from tomorrow at 19% means that before too long, those cute little flats for $39 end up costing you $300, and that tax bill that was one number 3 years ago is growing every day, so it’s time to get on it. Interest is a sneaky beast!

Somehow, in today’s world, we have confused deserving with affording. We put off things we don’t want to do and reach for things, often out of our budget, that make us feel good in the moment, but when that moment passes we feel worse. So, turn-in Tax Evading Tess and throw away the key – it’s time to let everyone, and most importantly yourself, know that there’s a new kid in town who lives within her means and pays the ‘Gov.’ annually. Here’s lookin’ at you, kid!

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The advice offered in this column is meant to be used as general guidance based on the facts provided. The opinions or views expressed should not be relied on as treatment or counselling services. If you do find yourself in need of counselling or support, please contact EFAP toll free at 1-800-505-4929 or 604-872-4929, your family doctor, or another appropriately trained and qualified specialist.