Thank you to those who have written to “dear efap” for input on your dilemmas. As you are aware, we read every inquiry that comes in but we are only able to print a small selection of responses. Our “pithy” answers are modeled after the lighter hearted Dear Abby style and are grounded in common sense. If your issues require a more personalized level of support please call EFAP (1-800-505-4929) and we can confidentially book you a counselling appointment with a senior level therapist.

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We welcome all inquiries – please submit these to dear.efap@efap.ca. All printed responses use the anonymous descriptor that you sign your inquiry with and do not reveal any identifying information. Our goal is to support you through insight and common sense.

Below is our response to the next selection – enjoy!
I went to a big Halloween party on the weekend. I was a sexy witch – note to self: retire that costume. It didn’t work very well because after not finding the love of my life, and again finding a few too many shots of tequila and a few too many unknown boys to smooch, I ended up at home drowning myself in a bucket of Halloween candy. At the time it felt like I was soothing the aching beast, the next morning – not so much. I’m not sure if it was the candy or the “Dracula’s Blood” – the red boozy tequila-based concoction that the hosts were serving. Now I’m on the countdown to Christmas and getting into that LBD ( little black dress) that’s 2 sizes below the current section of my closet that I am pulling from (I have a range of sizes depending on my emotional state and weight, but that is another story). This seems like a goal just too big to do on my own. Anyway, I need to get myself back on track to a healthier, happier self, HELP!!!
– Post-Halloween Help

Dear Post-Halloween Help,
Well, it seems like the party took a whack out of you and yes, probably wise to retire that costume – I’m not sure what it looks like, but it isn’t getting you what you want. I see the weight thing as something to tackle, and to be totally frank, I’m catching glimpses of a few other red flags to follow up on. I note that when you mention the overconsumption of the Halloween-themed cocktail and the overindulgence in the males available to kiss, you said that “again” you were finding yourself in this spot. I would want to ask you a bit more about that. It sounds like getting yourself into those situations isn’t doing anything for your reputation and I imagine it’s giving your self-esteem a healthy bruise. I might suggest coming in and speaking to a confidential counsellor about this, it may well be that you have got yourself into a pattern that isn’t serving you very well. As for the weight, it could well be related to the candy binge, but it could also be connected to the drinking and maybe to a mindset of just not thinking about what you’re eating in a mindful and healthy way. When one consumes without thought or care to what is actually being eaten it’s easy to pack on a few extra and unwanted pounds (think Bridget Jones). With some support from EFAP’s Health Coaches, we could most certainly help you with this in your post-Halloween time of need. Taking advantage of both counselling and Health Coaching supports could not only set you up well to be slipping into that LBD without Crisco oil, but it could also offset any ill advised behaviour at upcoming Christmas fetes. Instead of a Halloween repeat, your new demeanor and that classy LBD may result in a request for a date with your own Mr. Darcy!

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The advice offered in this column is meant to be used as general guidance based on the facts provided. The opinions or views expressed should not be relied on as treatment or counselling services. If you do find yourself in need of counselling or support, please contact EFAP toll free at 1-800-505-4929 or 604-872-4929, your family doctor, or another appropriately trained and qualified specialist.