Thank you to those who have written to “dear efap” for input on your dilemmas. As you are aware, we read every inquiry that comes in but we are only able to print a small selection of responses.  Our “pithy” answers are modeled after the lighter hearted Dear Abby style and are grounded in common sense.  If your issues require a more personalized level of support please call EFAP (1-800-505-4929) and we can confidentially book you a counselling appointment with a senior level therapist.

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We welcome all inquiries – please submit these to dear.efap@efap.ca. All printed responses use the anonymous descriptor that you sign your inquiry with and do not reveal any identifying information. Our goal is to support you through insight and common sense.

Below is our response to the next selection – enjoy!

I’m a student and I work at VGH in a lower level job. One day, I hope to get a great job and if I continue to go to school it looks like that might be possible. For now though, I’m writing about my roommate and a bit about the effect of her on my work. We’re coming up on the end of the month and our lease is up. She wants to get another place together and, while I realize its last minute, I’ve been holding back on saying yes. You see, this roommate is the roommate from hell. They leave everything everywhere and expect that somehow magically it will be picked up, sorted out and/or cleaned. I’ve had enough – I’m so stressed that at times I bring this stress to work and am short with my coworkers, and that has created some workplace angst. It isn’t at all about them; I’m just so frustrated and exhausted.   I have a chance to leave and move into a group accommodation with some really nice people, what do you think I should do?

• Frustrated by the Flatmate

Dear Frustrated by the Flatmate,

First, I would apologize to your coworkers for your shortness and explain what you’ve been up against. Everyone has some bad days, and if you own up and say that you’re sorry your coworkers will likely understand and forgive you, and that will really help reduce any stress that has accumulated in the workplace. After this, try your best not to bring that stress to work. EFAP has great wellness services and emotional coaches that might be able to help you manage this a bit better, consider giving them a call at 1-800-505-4929. And, with regards to your living situation? As far as I’m concerned, we have enough stress in our lives and our homes are supposed to be sanctuaries, not dens that generate anxiety. I would recommend that you graciously leave this roommate, with a smile on your face and less stress in your body.

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The advice offered in this column is meant to be used as general guidance based on the facts provided. The opinions or views expressed should not be relied on as treatment or counselling services. If you are a VCH staff member and find yourself in need of counselling or support, please contact EFAP toll free at 1-800-505-4929 or 604-872-4929, your family doctor, or another appropriately trained and qualified specialist.