Thank you to those who have written to “dear efap” for input on your dilemmas. As you are aware, we read every inquiry that comes in but we are only able to print a small selection of responses.  Our “pithy” answers are modeled after the lighter hearted Dear Abby style and are grounded in common sense.  If your issues require a more personalized level of support please call EFAP (1-800-505-4929) and we can confidentially book you a counselling appointment with a senior level therapist.

We welcome all inquiries – please submit these to dear.efap@efap.ca. All printed responses use the anonymous descriptor that you sign your inquiry with and do not reveal any identifying information. Our goal is to support you through insight and common sense.

Below is our response to the latest submission– enjoy!

Wedding season is in the air and I can’t stop thinking about my old boyfriend – he was “the one” that got away. We were too young, we both ended up marrying the wrong people, and I’m single now‎. I just heard that he is also now single so I reached out to him. We’ve been communicating for a few months now in a lovey-dovey way and I’m really happy! I have holidays coming up and I really want to see him! He happens to still live in the city we both grew up in, and I still have family there – what do you think I should do?

~ Lamenting over the lost love

Dear Lamenting over the lost love,

Carpe diem! I wouldn’t recommend booking a church quite yet, but it’s sounding like a walk down the aisle could be in your future. For now, perhaps let him know that you’d like to come for a visit and that you intend to stay with your relatives (so as not to put undue pressure on what could be), and that you would love to see him. If you get the nod, then book that plane ticket!

If he’s lukewarm on the idea or says no, then beware! Given that you’ve been corresponding in a flirty manner for months, I’d smell a rat if he doesn’t want you to come for a visit. He may not in fact be single, or at the very least, he may be hiding something. So if he says no, you can ask why, but he may not tell you the truth.

But, if it all turns out well, which is what I’m hoping for for you, and it ends up in nuptials, ‎I’ll be waiting for my invite (just kidding). All the best on this my friend, keep me posted.

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The advice offered in this column is meant to be used as general guidance based on the facts provided. The opinions or views expressed should not be relied on as treatment or counselling services. If you are a VCH staff member and find yourself in need of counselling or support, please contact EFAP toll free at 1-800-505-4929 or 604-872-4929, your family doctor, or another appropriately trained and qualified specialist.