Dear EFAP: pulling the plug
Thank you to those who have written to “Dear EFAP” for input on your dilemmas. As you are aware, we read every inquiry that comes in but we are only able to print a small selection of responses. Our “pithy” answers are modeled after the lighter hearted Dear Abby style and are grounded in common sense. If your issues require a more personalized level of support please call EFAP (1-800-505-4929) and we can confidentially book you a counselling appointment with a senior level therapist.
We welcome all inquiries – please submit these to dear.efap@efap.ca. All printed responses use the anonymous descriptor that you sign your inquiry with and do not reveal any identifying information. Our goal is to support you through insight and common sense.
Below is our response to the next selection – enjoy!
Dear EFAP
I like to go for walks and hikes, my boyfriend doesn’t, and he won’t come with me. I like to go to the art gallery, he prefers to watch sports. I like to ski, and while he likes Whistler he prefers the bars to the slopes, and the list goes on. I’m thinking of ending things with him because I’m not very happy – I just don’t think we’re a fit, but I don’t want to be alone so I’m reluctant to pull the plug. What do you think?
- Reluctant to Pull the Plug
Dear Reluctant to Pull the Plug
It sounds like you’re already alone most of the time, just sayin’. I wonder if the biggest difference you would notice if you proceeded with ending things with him is that you would be alone and happy, rather than alone and miserable. What do I think? I think you sound like lots of fun and the things that you like to do are awesome, so go find someone who wants to do them with you! And so, pull that dang plug and start enjoying yourself!
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The advice offered in this column is meant to be used as general guidance based on the facts provided. The opinions or views expressed should not be relied on as treatment or counselling services. If you are a VCH staff member and find yourself in need of counselling or support, please contact EFAP toll free at 1-800-505-4929 or 604-872-4929, your family doctor, or another appropriately trained and qualified specialist.
Carl
As you say, the decision has been made and it’s just a matter of putting it into action. Speaking of action, it sounds as though one of the people in this relationship prefers to be a part of the action while the other prefers to watch the action. Plain, simple, easy decision. Move on, do it quickly and don’t look back.