Dear EFAP: Cranky Pants
Thank you to those who have written to “dear efap” for input on your dilemmas. As you are aware, we read every inquiry that comes in but we are only able to print a small selection of responses. Our “pithy” answers are modeled after the lighter hearted Dear Abby style and are grounded in common sense. If your issues require a more personalized level of support please call EFAP (1-800-505-4929) and we can confidentially book you a counselling appointment with a senior level therapist.
We welcome all inquiries – please submit these to dear.efap@efap.ca. All printed responses use the anonymous descriptor that you sign your inquiry with and do not reveal any identifying information. Our goal is to support you through insight and common sense.
Below is our response to the next selection – enjoy!
We’ve had so much rain lately that I’m finding I’m feeling extra cranky recently. I’ve also noticed that I’m feeling more anxious than usual and I’ve been very hard on myself lately. Any thoughts of how I could manage this all a bit better?
~Cranky Pants
Dear Cranky Pants,
When feeling anxious, our ability to control our reactivity can be diminished, and the experts say that this related to our Emotional Intelligence (EI). According to Alex Coleman’s Psychology of Emotional Intelligence (EI), EI is “the capability of individuals to recognize their own, and other peoples’ emotions, to discern between different feelings and label them appropriately, to use emotional information to guide thinking and behavior, and to manage and/or adjust emotions to adapt environments or achieve one’s goal(s).” He and other notables in the field, not the least of whom is Jon Kabat Zinn, suggest that using Mindfulness can help you increase your Emotional Intelligence and improve your ability to get a hold on your emotions. He describes Mindfulness as “the psychological process of bringing one’s attention to the internal and external experiences occurring in the present moment that can foster clear thinking and openheartedness.”
It sounds like the anxiety you are feeling right now might be blocking your ability to effectively manage your emotions, effectively leaving you cranky. A helpful way to tackle this might be to consider practicing Mindfulness – being more aware, more purposeful and more intentional may allow you to get a handle on what you’re feeling and thus help reduce your anxiety and self-criticism. The good news: EFAP has Wellness Coaches that can help you with this! More so, our Wellness Educators teach Mindfulness sessions through our Taking Care of Me Workshop series, so think about giving us a call. Good on you for recognizing it and know that you are not alone!
* * *
The advice offered in this column is meant to be used as general guidance based on the facts provided. The opinions or views expressed should not be relied on as treatment or counselling services. If you are a VCH staff member and find yourself in need of counselling or support, please contact EFAP toll free at 1-800-505-4929 or 604-872-4929, your family doctor, or another appropriately trained and qualified specialist.