Dear EFAP: forgot Valentine’s Day

Thank you to those who have written to “Dear EFAP” for input on your dilemmas. As you are aware, we read every inquiry that comes in but we are only able to print a small selection of responses.  Our “pithy” answers are modeled after the lighter hearted Dear Abby style and are grounded in common sense.  If your issues require a more personalized level of support please call Employee Wellness/EFAP (1-800-505-4929) and we can confidentially book you a counselling appointment with a senior level therapist.

We welcome all inquiries – please submit these to dear.efap@efap.ca. All printed responses use the anonymous descriptor that you sign your inquiry with and do not reveal any identifying information.  Our goal is to support you through insight and common sense.

Below is our response to the next selection – enjoy!

Dear EFAP

OMG I forgot Valentine’s Day and I am big time in the dog house. What can I do? Any suggestions?

– Dude in the dog house

Dear dude in the dog house

Well yes, forgetting this holiday was not your best move so you will need to do a bit of mea culpa. I think it definitely wise to fall on your sword on this one my friend. Most girls (but certainly not all) hope to get something from their fella on Valentine’s Day. It is not necessary that it be lavish but rather that it reflects that you care for her. And if the day goes by and nothing arrives, they can feel hurt.

You are, however, human and humans make mistakes. A sincere apology will go a long way, and flowers or a gift even if it is late, will likely still be appreciated.  When you do something like this, however you choose to do it,  it is about making her feel loved, cared for, appreciated, and special.

Honestly, saying you are sorry perhaps while bearing flowers and asking her how you might be able to make it up to her might be a thoughtful and respectful way to go. Taking the time to listen to how she felt by you missing it this year, and then acting on the idea she puts forth on how to make it up to her, might be helpful possibilities for you to consider. Good luck. And next year, dude, mark it in your Outlook calendar.

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The advice offered in this column is meant to be used as general guidance based on the facts provided. The opinions or views expressed should not be relied on as treatment or counselling services. If you are a VCH staff member and find yourself in need of counselling or support, please contact Employee Wellness/EFAP toll free at 1-800-505-4929 or 604-872-4929, your family doctor, or another appropriately trained and qualified specialist.

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