Home is where the heart is
Ralph and Margaret have spent a lot of Valentine’s Days together.
“Yep, we’ve been married for almost 65 years,” Ralph said.
Does it feel like 65 years?
He shakes his head.
“It feels like we got married yesterday.”
Ralph and Margaret were able to be together on this annual day of love, thanks to the work of staff at VCH’s Renfrew Care Centre, where the couple has lived for about a month. Ralph, who is 86, can be close to Margaret, who is 84 and suffers from dementia. Before the staff at the Renfrew Care Centre took over, Ralph had the very important job of taking care of his wife.
“He’s been her caregiver for so long and in a way he still is,” said Carole, Ralph and Margaret’s daughter. It’s so reassuring and comforting for him to know that she’s just downstairs and she’s being looked after.”
Fran Pelletier, director of care at the Renfrew Care Centre, said it’s pretty simple why they try to keep couples together at the home.
“They’ve been together all of their lives and why are you going to break up a family? Fran said. “You don’t break up families if you can help it.”
They are the second couple currently residing at the centre, which has 90 residents and will have 16 additional spots opening up later this year.
“It’s really difficult for couple when they’re separated,” Fran continued. “We work hard with Priority access to make this happen whenever we can. It’s our job to care for people and not just fill empty beds.”
Carole said that even though her parents haven’t been at the centre for very long and they live on separate floors, she has seen the benefits the arrangement brings.
“It really gives a sense of home even though they’re not always together,” she said, looking over at her father. “It eliminates that boundary of worrying about your spouse – it helps you become well again. As a family member, you can meet both of them, see both of them at the same time and it’s great.”
“For snack time at 2 o’clock, we’ll go down and be with my mom so they can have coffee or sit by the window together – just like what they did at home.”
Ralph said he still worries about his wife, but is clearly comforted to know she is being looked after a couple of floors below him.
“I’m happy,” he said. “But I still miss her.”